by James Jaeger

It is disconcerting to see men and women in anything less than sweet and tender harmony. Unfortunately this is not what we see on the dating circuit for nowhere is the battlefield more brutal. Fortunately it doesn't have to be this way if males and females follow a few simple principles.

A first date should be over drinks, not over coffee. No one wants to try get know someone new while they are on a coffee buzz. Dates over coffee are like job interviews. No one is able to be them self at a job interview or a coffee date. So ladies, if you want to get know that man you are spending some of your precious time on, meet him for a happy hour. It only takes an hour and one or two drinks know if you are going to click. If you are not going to click, say goodbye after an hour. It will be easy. If you are going to click, the hour will go by quickly, so keep talking and even have dinner.

Always have an open schedule when you commit for a date.

If the happy hour goes well, you will want to spend additional time having additional drinks or dinner. If dinner goes well you will want to spend more time dancing or even going to another club or place. The point is: a proper date is a date whereby the parties make it easy and possible get know each other. After all, why are you dating in the first place? You are hopefully dating to find a long-term, compatible partner that you can possibly become monogamous with and explore life together -- physically, mentally and spiritually. You took time to shower, groom, put in contacts, dress and maybe even more if you bought clothes and/or went to a hair salon -- perhaps two or more hours to prep for a date. So why go on a date if you do NOT provide yourself with an open schedule?!

The actual date -- unless it is aborted at the happy hour level -- should be at least 6 hours long. Again, it should take only a happy hour from 5 to 6 to decide if there is a possibility. If there is a possibility, you should rejoice because this is a wonderful and important event and you should not cut it short. Fuck the rest of the world. Fuck your job, fuck getting home early to feed the kids or dogs. Fuck the fact that you have to get up early for an exercise class. Fuck all the demands on you. And turn off your fucking cell phone -- you are on a date. This should be your attitude. And with this attitude you should be willing to throw caution to the wind and have a good time. If this means having some drinks, dinner and dancing: do it. If it means painting the town, making out in the back seat of a car or even getting a room: do it. Life is short; time is precious.

These things said, I can already hear some screaming when I said 'get a room." Yes, I am advocating that one does not AVOID having sex on a first date if bilateral chemistry is present. Consider this. In order for you to be a couple, you are going to have to eventually have sex. No? Who wants to be a "couple" without sex -- or commitment to a "sexual" relationship. What man, even most women, wants a relationship -- unless there is some proven sexual compatibility? Everyone sits around these days and endlessly talks and texts about sex, but where's the physical proof of anything? This is what "dates" are for: to verify sexual compatibility thus opening the door qualifying for other, more complex compatabilities.

So to put it bluntly: sex is the easiest part to figure out in a potential male-female relationship but one of the most important. How many people have broken up, gotten separated or divorced because they are not satisfied with their spouse or never were sexually compatible in the first place? Millions, if not hundreds of millions.

Society -- due the religious influence of prudes and governments -- has men and women doing stupid things like, avoiding sex until the third or fourth date. The twisted idea must be that -- IF the man can tolerate the woman's crappy personality and bitchy, selfish and entitled manners until a third or fourth date -- THEN he gets sex as a reward. In other words, Society has configured the dating ritual to be little more than a "carrot and stick" exercise designed to corral men into the marriage pit of eventual a-sexuality. Society thus positions the "date" as an incriminating activity, whereby, any "decent" man who has been on more than two dates with the same woman should be ashamed of himself if he has sex with her and then doesn't stay with her or marry her. He's a "pig." And women complain about this all the time. The "pig fucked me and then he dumped me!" So let's take a look at this, since this seems to be the focus of many women's legitimate complaints about men.

Women, whether society likes it or not, are in competition with each other. Put bluntly, some women are crappy in bed and others are great in bed. The crappy woman, for instance, lays there like a dead fish and expects the man do all the work. Then, when he doesn't call up for a fourth or fifth date -- where he again gets to pay for everything even though the sex is horrible -- the woman calls him a "pig" and the woman's "friends" call her a "slut" for sleeping with him in the first place. THIS is the society we live in today; a society replete with the false accusation of "pig" and "slut."

And men can be just as bad, because many, if not most men are crappy in bed too. Have you ever watch porn? The Net is full of porn proving men have no idea how to perform the sexual act, especially with women. Besides failing to provide adequate, if any, foreplay, such men bang a woman until she pretends to "cum," then they roll over and go to sleep or smoke. Other men have no rhythm. When she pushes, he pulls and when she pulls, he pushes. Shouldn't a man and a woman, who have good chemistry, be in rhythm singing the same song, dancing the same dance? She pushes, he pushes. She pulls, he pulls. They go together. They are in synch, their genitals are dancing with each other harmoniously and deeply. They are not only "fucking," they are "making love." To discover all these nuances is what a date is for. But if these discoveries are postponed until the Nth date, look at the wasted time, not to mention the fact that the couple was probably heading for a disaster it could have headed off.

Ladies, don't you want to find a man that gives you wonderful foreplay, fucks with beautiful rhythm (or hard fucks, if that's your preference) and then makes sure you cum as much and many times as possible? Why wait until the third or fourth date to qualify a man's sexual ability? In today's dating world -- after the dating couple has scrutinized every aspect of each other's personality, education, associations, health records, financials, tax returns, family tree and done almost a compete estate plan and prenuptial agreement -- they STILL haven't FUCKED each other to see if they have ANY chemistry! What's wrong with THAT picture -- society's plan for today's dating couples?! The remedy is to get the sex out of the way first. You are in competition with every other woman on the planet so prove you are good, or the best, and prove it fast. And find out if he sucks. He very well may suck and not deserve your pussy. But if you suck at sex, why should the man be expected to stay with you, let alone show you his financials or propose anything? If you, on the other hand, are fucking incredible at sex -- the man will be begging to show you his financials, and you will have the option of staying with him or moving on.

So what's the moral of the dating story? It's that both men and women should mix and match as much and as quickly as possible. Just because the sex is bad with Man A doesn't mean it will be bad with Man B. Just because Woman A is a dead fish doesn't mean Woman B will be a dead fish. Different people bring out different dances in each other. So don't relegate discovery to the third or fourth date to figure out if the sex is going to be great or horrible. Be willing to find out sooner rather than later. Don't use sex as a reward, carrot or a political weapon. Treat sex as its own quid pro quo and enjoy it freely, like you did when you were a teenager.

If a guy fucks you, or you fuck him, and then you never hear from him again, consider the possibility that you simply weren't that great in bed. Hit the gym, watch more porn and/or enroll at Sex University. Don't call him a "pig." And never allow your "friends" to call you a "slut." Smack the shit out of them or unfriend them. And if you're a guy, don't be one of these assholes that fucks a woman who is perfectly good in all respects just so you can get another notch on your penis. The only way women can really neutralize guys like this to become so good in bed they CAN'T leave -- and then YOU leave them.

So the anatomy of a proper date includes economizing on time, focusing on the most important aspect of a relationship and then, from there, the groundwork for a serious friendship is laid. No pun intended. And ladies remember what a wise man in the hills once said: "If you won't FUCK a man, you won't FRIEND a man." For a man, fucking -- especially serious fucking -- leads to friendship.

So stop trying to get him to be your friend if you won't even fuck him.

Sure, you have a personality, intelligence and you're a live human being and all that. But remember, he has his male friends that also have all that. You are a female. You have different qualities, but the main quality that differentiates you from his male friends is you have a pussy. Food is NOT the gateway a man's heart, pussy is the gateway a man's heart. Food just makes a man fat, exactly what church-ridden prudes and nun-infested society want so married couples stay together because they have become so fat and unattractive to everyone else they have no options. Sex is the way to a man's heart and it starts with dating experience that recognizes this. Anthropologists tell us that over homo sapiens' past 195,000-year existence, sex has been used more for bonding than reproduction. Modern society has twisted and warped this truth in order to conform with the perversions of the Church and State -- but this is another story.

The story of dating should and can be an exciting story if one considers the anatomy of a successful date. Men and woman can and should have fun with each other without limits. They should respect each other for the gifts that each can bring to a relationship whether such relationship is pre- or post-carnal. If this respect grows in a society it will only be natural that affinity and sexual relationships between men and women will also grow. Be a pig and a slut for good sex, especially on your first date.

ORIGINATED: 26 September 2017
REVISED: 10 October 2020

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